So Much Going On…

I’m not even sure where to start…but…

First an apology for neglecting this blog…I really don’t mean to, it’s just that I get busy on my many other projects & some like this blog, get swept to the wayside…though…one of the reasons that I find myself posting here today is because my biggest project has been on hold for days now.

Mystic Minds is my new Blogging Community for metaphysical, new age & spirituality bloggers.

Unfortunately, I cannot access my site…even though apparently others can…due to some DNS issue…DNS stands for Domain Name Server…and somewhere in cyberspace my domain name is being held hostage from my ISP… So, everything I have planned around the Mystic Minds project is on hold. I have a lot of fine character traits…unfortunately, patience has never been one of them…so, I’m frustrated, disappointed…annoyed & laughing at the cosmic joke of the whole situation.

Another big project I have going on is Mystic Squids, which is a Ning community for Metaphysically minded Squidoo lensmasters.

You’ll notice that the logo’s for both sites are very similar, this is because they are sister sites…built to enhance each other.

Mystic Squids is a private Ning…what that means is that what people say & do at the Mystic Squids Ning group…stays there…members forum posts & such are not accessible all over the Internet. Only other Mystic Squid members can view the inside areas of the site. The front page is veiwable…and anyone who is a Squidoo lensmaster is welcome to join…

A few people don’t like that the Ning is private because it doesn’t create backlinks that way…but, when I created the group, many members expressed that they didn’t want their forum posts accessible to the general public.

So I also created Mystic Minds blogging Community…which is a very public site. Mystic Squids is open to anyone who wants to blog about metaphysical, new age or spirituality topics. It’s a lot like Squidlog or Crabbysbeach…built on a Wordpress blogging platform…but it is open to anyone, not just Squidoo members.

I think the 2 sites really compliment each other very well.

Busy, Busy, Busy…

Yes…I know it’s a lame excuse for neglecting this blog… but now that the Holidays are over & some of my other projects are flowing nicely, I will hopefully be a little better about posting here.

The really big project that I’ve been wrapped up in is the Crabbysbeach Blog that I’ve been co-creating with Alex aka: Drifter0658. It’s called Squidoo Music & I think it’s the Coolest Squidoo blog on the Web!

One of the reasons I think it’s such a fantastic blog is because we have an incredible writing team. Besides Alex & myself, you will find a lot of familiar Squidoo faces.

Squidoo Music is proud to have some of the coolest lensmasters on the web as featured writers.

drifter0658 is rockin’ Monday mornings with the Coffee Cup Blues!

Tuesdays, we’ll be Going Classical with ulla_hennig.

Wednesdays we have ChapelHillFiddler celebrating the best of Traditional & Folk music from around the World.

Thursdays We’re Rockin’ with CleanerLife’s Classic Rock!

Get the weekend party started with cjsysreform’s Friday Dance Party!

Join us on Saturdays for GrowWear’s Country Music Fest!

Join mysticmama on Sundays for Sounds of Joy!

We have also added some really cool Squidoo Music Badges that lensmasters can display on their lenses if we feature the lens on the blog!

Of course I have lots of other news to tell, but I’ll save it for next time!

Giving Thanks

You may be thinking that I’m a day late in making this post…but in my family, surviving the Thanksgiving Holiday is something to be truly grateful for.

Most Americans look forward to Thanksgiving as a day of feasting, watching football & getting together with their loved ones. In my family we’re mostly just thankful once it’s over. When I was a kid, I loved Thanksgiving. Every year we would go to Grandma’s house for the perfectly roasted turkey with all the fixings.

Now that Grandma is cooking for Elvis, the torch has been passed to my Mother. We tried to skip a generation, but unfortunately it’s the one Holiday my Mom insists upon hosting every year. Mom’s heart is in the right place & she truly loves Thanksgiving, so if nothing else we have to give her points for trying, and thankfully, it’s only once a year.

The thing is that she really does love to cook, unfortunately, she’s just not good at it. Each year she insists on doing the whole big sit down dinner & won’t let anyone else help. One year we all sat down to eat and right before we started passing the bowls around Mom says, “oh no, I forgot seasoning!”

Some brave soul asked her what she forgot to season and she replied, “Everything.”

That was also the year where everything including the turkey somehow magically ended up burnt on the outside yet still frozen in the middle.

This year wasn’t so bad though…the stuffing had actual flavor…unfortunately, it had too much flavor and made everything else taste even more flavorless by comparison. The soupy pumpkin pie was pretty funny though, especially since she didn’t insist that anyone at least try it, after we convinced her that because of the eggs the pie could be toxic.

All in all, it was a pleasant day. No one got too drunk, there were no fist fights & her new Giant screen television played loud enough to drown out the grumbles about the food.

One Man’s Spam Is Another Man’s Lunch

A busy executive sits down next to a farmer at the dentist’s office…the executive immediately starts fussing with his iphone and muttering to himself…he notices the farmer looking at him oddly & says, “don’t you just hate spam!”…the farmer shakes his head & replies, “not really, it’s pretty tasty fried.”

I’ve had a lot of frustration with other people’s personal definitions of spam lately. Mostly in the form of people leaving links in my Squidoo lens guest-books. I admit, this is basically just my pet peeve…to me, leaving a link in someone else’s guest-book is just rude & spam.

Unfortunately, not everyone else is of this opinion. I’ve been told that because so many Internet marketing e-books & sites recommend this activity to others as a valid form of promotion, that it is then not spam because the person doing it thought it was OK to do.

Personally, I just don’t get this line of reasoning…would then a person who was told that stealing is OK, then not be guilty of stealing, just because someone else told them to do it?

It just reminds me of grade school and how little children use the excuse “Joey told me to do it” and then Mom says “well, if Joey jumped off a bridge would you do that too?”

The whole thing really makes me wonder about people’s sense of judgment. Are we so greedy & hungry for Internet success, that we throw our innate sense of right & wrong out the window to blindly follow some e-Guru’s lead?

I’m sorry, but just because some e-book, Internet Marketing Guru, or website tells us to behave rudely… in no ways excuses us for not using common sense to know that we are being misinformed.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

It’s so easy to get bogged down by all of the projects & day to day responsibilities we have. With deadlines to meet, families to take care of, bills to pay and “to do” lists that seem to grow longer every day, regardless of how much we got done the day before.

As grown ups, we’re not allowed the luxury of spending all of our time playing & just having fun. Real life gets a real kick out of biting us in the ass from time to time.

I recently took a part-time job working the graveyard shift at a busy convenience store near downtown St. Paul, MN. Mostly as a way to get out of the house & interact with people, who aren’t my husband, a few days a week.

I got sent home early last night, then spent the better part of this morning at the doctor’s office. Turns out, all that interacting with people resulted in strep throat with some H1N1 thrown in just for giggles.

Now, I’m stuck in bed literally, with anti-biotics & flu medicines to digest. With my hubby valiantly trying to be the grown up for a change & take care of me, instead of the other way around.

Let me explain that my hubby is disabled & has no fingers or thumbs, so I am usually his caretaker. Still, he managed to feed himself today, by purchasing fast food, so I could sleep & he overcame his social anxiety disorder long enough to go to Walmart and buy me this laptop so I can work from bed.

Still, as hard as he tried to just let me rest & recuperate…there is only so much my darling man-child can cope with, and a big pile of steaming dog vomit, just isn’t on that list.

Now, let me clarify, just for the record & to assuage my hubby’s masculine ego, that this wasn’t just ordinary dog vomit. No, we live in Minnesota and it froze last night…which means that our dear old 13 year old dog’s droppings also froze in our backyard.

She’s a good old dog and really can’t help herself, and does seem to be ashamed of her addiction to poopcicles. Normally, when it’s cold outside, we remove her droppings from the back yard before they have a chance to freeze & tempt her.

But, today with me being sick in bed & my hubby busy trying to take care of me & himself, her droppings were left forgotten…until she horked them back up again in the middle of the living room floor. Unable to face the steaming pile himself…my hubby tried to ignore it, but when both the cat & the dog tried to eat it…he finally broke down & woke me up.

After making my way downstairs, both he and the dog were smart enough to look appropriately ashamed of their personal weaknesses as they watched me scoop the 3 pound mound up with 2 dustpans, and then scrubbed the floor with Pine-Sol.

Shaking my head as I made my way back to bed, I could here him telling the dog, “It’s okay, see…Mommy even made it smell good.”

So how was your day?

Squidoo Music

I just started a new project over at Crabbysbeach. It’s a new blog called Squidoo Music and will hopefullygrow to be a really fun music blog that also helps us promote our music related lenses.

Squidoo’s format makes it easy to create really amazing music lenses and I wanted to create a blog for music lovers as well as lensmasters that make music lenses.

I’ve got the basics of the blog set up now with some help from Crabbysbeach creator Drifter, now I just need a few bloggers who are interested in creating some niche music columns.

I’m looking for a few featured writers to do weekly posts about their own favorite music, as well as a few Guest writers who can post once or twice a month.

If you are interested in writing for Squidoo Music, you can contact me via my Squidoo profile. ~ Thanks

Handling Hecklers

Hecklers don’t just annoy Comedians & Politicians. Anyone who writes anything worth reading on the Internet, is also bound to attract hecklers also.

Hecklers are easy to spot. They are the commenter’s who disagree with everything we say, just for the sake of argument. They like to play the Devil’s advocate regardless of the subject. They try to be witty & clever, but usually just come off as snide, sarcastic and bitter.

Hecklers can be exceedingly annoying. Many cross the line, and indulge in personal attacks against us. They gibe and cajole, they try to confuse our audience and attempt to make us look bad in any way they can.

Hecklers try to hit us where it hurts. They attempt to make us second guess our selves. They try to put us on the defensive. They aim to shake and break us.

Why?

This is the question we must keep in mind when we deal with hecklers. What is their motivation?

Since most hecklers seem to be trying to build themselves up by tearing us down… and try to get the spotlight to shift from us to them, the most obvious answer is jealousy.

If we keep in mind that our hecklers are really just jealous of our talent, popularity and success, it becomes much easier to not take their heckling to heart. Knowing that are heckling us in a pathetic attempt to get attention via our popularity, can help us to not take their personal attacks so personally.

It’s easy to fall into their traps and take their jibes and insults personally. To feel hurt and rejected by their scathing put downs and snide remarks. The thing is, if you let them get to you, then they win.

Always remember, that if what you have to say wasn’t worth saying in the first place, then you would not be attracting hecklers. Hecklers are in all reality proof that you are doing something right. People who write nothing worth reading, do not have hecklers.

Our hecklers are what defines us as exceptional as opposed to mediocre.

If you have hecklers, be grateful to have them. Let them heckle all they want. Don’t take anything they say personally. Don’t let them goad you into a pissing contest and don’t play into their hand by going on the defensive.

Instead sit back, relax and let them have their say. Take the high road and agree to disagree. Stick to your guns and ride it out. In the end, having hecklers although annoying, is one of the greatest compliments we can have as writers.

Squidoo e-mail Etiquette

A few months ago, a couple of well known squids caused a big ruckus in the SquidU forum in regards to being contacted via e-mail through their “contact” buttons. I have no intention of rehashing all of that, but would like to address rather the fallout that has occurred from it.

Behind the scenes, I spend a lot of time corresponding with new squids and helping them in any way I can. In the last couple of months I have noticed a reoccurring trend of e-mail fear.

Because of the very public debate in the forum, many of our new squids are now afraid of using our contact buttons to contact us. They are afraid that they will be reported as spammers.

This really ticks me off, because if our new Squids are afraid to e-mail us, we are failing them as mentors and Squid role models.

When I first joined Squidoo, I e-mailed our own Chef Keem with questions and was immediately embraced, made to feel welcomed and offered help, friendship & constructive advice. That warm welcome helped shape my Squidoo experience and helped me to flourish and grow.

If he had instead ignored my e-mail or reported me as a spammer, I would have most likely quit Squidoo and found somewhere else to use my talents on the web. This makes me wonder how many potentially amazing Squids we have lost and may loose in the future due to this new fear of using people’s contact buttons?

New Squids should never be made to feel like they are not welcome to approach us for help!

If you are a Squid Giant or Angel, and not willing to take the time to actually read your e-mail & reach out to help new Squids…then please disable your contact button now!

I am posting this in both the SquidU forum & on my blog simultaneously in the hopes of getting the word out to our new Squids that there should be no need to be afraid to approach a Giant Squid or Squid Angel via their contact button… most of us are sincerely here to help and welcome you to Squidoo.

My personal stance is that, my door is always open and you are always welcome to come to me with your questions, concerns and requests for help. I will NEVER report you as spam just for e-mailing me to ask for help or to share a link to a lens you have made.

I promise to take the time to actually read your e-mail, before jumping to the conclusion that all e-mails with links are spam. Though with that said, I will report spammy lenses, lenses against Squidoo’s TOS’s & sales e-mails.

Much Ado About Ratings & Rank

In the last month or so, I have spent more time visiting other people’s lenses than working on my own. I have 3 SquidU forum threads where people post links to their lenses for me & others to check out.

One of my favorite of these three is Ramkitten’s  Goose Eggs thread . Where people are encouraged to post links to their lenses that have zero visitors even though they are wonderful lenses.

I love this thread, because it just proves that ratings & lensrank really have very little to do with lens quality. Some of the very best lenses around never see a high lensrank, while some of the worst lenses I’ve ever seen remain in the top 100’s for months on end.

When asking myself why this is, it’s quite easy to find the answer. Rank and ratings are just forms of popularity, and when it comes to popularity substance and quality rarely excel.

In life, popularity is more often than not, granted to the shiny pretty people, no matter how shallow, vapid or idiotic they really are. Why else would the Jackass show and reality TV be so popular?

In real life, we often have to dig a little deeper to find real substance and quality. To find the best lenses, we often need to dig a little deeper also, but it’s worth the effort.

Being WYSIWYG

I recently received an e-mail from a young woman who asked me: “I’d like to be more WYSIWYG than I am. But, hopefully that will come with more advanced age and experience. Are you this straightforward? And, if so, how did you figure out who you were?”

I know she reads this blog (thanks for reading) and thought maybe more people than just her would like to see my answer.

If you asked my parents or family, they would say that I was born annoyingly wysiwyg. I have always had a strong sense of self, but was blessed to grow up in a non-judgmental environment where free thinking was encouraged.

I know that most people are not that lucky and instead grow up in an environment where they are expected to follow their families beliefs & prejudices. Children are taught early to follow their parent’s religious, political & social doctrine.

My family wasn’t like that. My free-spirited hippie parents encouraged us kids to explore all possibilities, to research every aspect of every subject and then to form our own opinions. All grown up now, 2 of my brothers are Christian-Republicans, 1 is a Green Party Buddhist and 1 is still exploring the possibilities.

Then there is me. I raised my 3 sons very much the same, just with a bit more structure. My sons are now adults, 1 is another Christian-Republican, 1 a non-religious democrat & 1 is just like me.

So what am I? I’m a little bit of everything. I still explore and research all sides, information & possibilities on all subjects before making a choice. I’m not any one political party or Religion, but a combination of all. I tend to pick through all the information, keep the good and throw away the bad. I vote for whichever politician’s world view is the most like mine regardless of their political affiliation.

I grew up in the 1960’s & 70’s. My Gypsy Musician Hippie parents didn’t believe in rules or discipline. The only real rule we had was to always be “real” which was hippie slang for being totally honest & true to ourselves regardless of what anyone else thought.

Growing up like that, my brothers and I are all completely wysiwyg. We were always encouraged to disagree and debate with each other, as well as to respect each other’s differences & opinions.

As far as the questions my friend e-mailed… Yes, I have always been straightforward. As kids we were taught to always stand up for what we believed in, that as long as we were true to ourselves and completely honest with ourselves, that it really didn’t matter what other people thought of us.

As far as being wysiwyg goes, I think it has more to do with believing in yourself than age or experience. It’s all about being brutally honest with yourself and sticking to your convictions regardless of what other’s think.

Of course being wysiwyg is no excuse for being thoughtless, rude or obnoxious. I see a lot of people who use wysiwyg as an excuse for being a jerk, in the end they may be wysiwyg, but they’re still jerks.

I don’t think you have to “find yourself” to be wysiwyg either. Healthy people are always growing, learning and changing. Being opinionated, inflexible and stubborn is not a healthy or appealing way of being wysiwyg.

Being wysiwyg is about being honest & true to yourself and your convictions everyday. As we grow & change, our views will grow & change also. At 45, I am not the same person I was at 18, 25, 35 or even last week. Regardless of who I was yesterday or who I will be tommorrow…I can only be wysiwyg for who I am today.