Backstories: My First Pathetic Garden
6:49 pm in Editorial, Seedplanter's Backstories by seedplanter
When I heard about Twttrlist lenses, I thought about various topics that might make a good fit. Usually when I’m searching for writing ideas, I open my memory bank up wide and let a good breeze blow through. Yesterday that breeze swirled around a memory of my first vegetable garden.
Oh boy. Did I really want to talk about how a know-it-all, 30-year-old daughter of a farm advisor treated a 10×6′ plot of dirt as if it were the size of a city lot, overplanting, underweeding and thoroughly botching up a perfectly good little garden bed? The results looked more like a tangle of rainforest vines than the garden I’d dreamed of having someday.
To add insult to injury, I hadn’t thought to leave room to maneuver through the rows to water and hoe. I couldn’t tell where the cucumber vines ended and my Big Boy tomatoes began. Bell peppers, carrots, onions, and a couple of cauliflowers held on to each other for dear life, as cucumber tendrils curled around stems like a snake exploring uncharted territory.
Ohhh, Martha. Please don’t hate me.
So that summer, my parents decided to pay us a visit. In my ignorant bliss, I eagerly dragged my dad around back to show him my pride and joy. He tried his best not to laugh, really he did. He even slapped that big ol’ mitt of a hand over his mouth to hold back the rising guffaw. But I spotted those telltale laugh lines hugging both eyes, and knew exactly what he was thinking.
“Wow. What a garden!” he said. “Uh…just one question: Why did you plant eight tomato plants in such a small space?” he asked in his best imitation of a polite person.
“I like tomatoes.”
He moved around the fringes of the garden. “Hmmm. These look like carrots,” he said, reaching down to touch lacy green tops.
“Yep. They’re carrots alright.”
“And…?” He could see that they were hardly mature. In fact, they lay there like castoff greens from a fastfood dumpster. Sad sight.
“Well, I was curious how fast they would grow, so I sort of tugged at them every now and then to see how cute they were. Little baby carrots…”
Yesterday I launched my first TwttrList: Great Gardening Tips on Twitter, because I still need all the help I can get. I’m happy to report, though, that I’m not previewing carrots anymore, and I now plant three tomato plants every year instead of eight.
I feel like such a grownup.
(*image ©Bonnie Bruno 2009)
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Quoting allthatiscute: Diary of a rabbit owner. Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, because frankly I don’t care. —


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