[Editor's Note from AJ: I had a private message from a fellow Lensmaster recently asking how I manage my online Juggling Act, so I shared a few tips but also suggested that my contact check out how Paula Atwell does things, because she is one of the most focussed lensmasters I know. Then, when I was trawling the Squidlog Archives for some good articles to recycle I found this one.]
Recently Seth Godin had me laughing sympathetically at this quote from his post, Saying “no”, “Saying no to loud people gives you the resources to say yes to important opportunities.”
What a great way to say what is so absolutely true, that people will try to drag you into their projects if they think you can give them something. Now, I understand that they do not usually realize that they are chipping away at your time to grow and develop your career, but they do nevertheless.
It is our responsibility to ourselves and our careers to say, “No” often to donation requests, help requests, and many other freebies that people always want from us. We need to save ourselves for those unique opportunities that come along. We also need to stay focused on where WE want to go, and what WE want to spend our valuable time on.
As a small business owner, I find myself inundated with requests for donations, and free help for all sorts of organizations. Some of them are very worthy, and some are not. But even with the worthy organizations, if I gave of myself or my business as much as they want, I would have nothing left to support myself, my family, or the other numerous suppliers and vendors who depend on my customers to keep them in business.
Each one of us has special talents and abilities to offer the world. Whether that means that you are the best baker in the world, or even in your neighborhood or your talent lies in gardening, you should spend your time where it makes the most focused impact.
It is okay to say “no” to a distraction, if it means that you will be able to accomplish so much more that day. It is okay to tell someone that you will have to help them later because you are involved in a project right now. And it is okay to let someone know that your time is valuable and they will have to schedule an appointment to talk to you later about their work.
Your talent is a gift, and you should make the most of it. Don’t let others take pieces of you until there is nothing left.
Image Credit: “It’s a No” on flickr by biscuitsmlp reproduced under Creative Commons 2.0
About lakeerieartists
Really, our egos get in the way of success all too often.
Excellent post.
This is such good advice. I tend to feel a bit selfish and guilty if I don’t respond to every donation request. But it can get too much, indeed, and keep me from doing my more important work.
Excellent post, especially considering the importance of social networking. Helping every person who asks may seem like the logical thing to do, until you realize how much of your time you’re giving away, and as you said, how much further away from your goals.
Saying yes to everyone may be an ego situation as Alex mentioned, but in my case, it was not having enough self-worth and not acknowledging my talent. I’m happily saying no more often now. Thanks for the reminder it’s okay to say no because you’re really saying yes to yourself and your goals.
Jennifer Akers’s last blog post..Don’t Write Your New Book …
You have expressed my thoughts so well. Thanks! Now I don’t have to.
I used to be such a yes person when I was in my 20s. I didn’t want to miss a good opportunity and I wanted to help. In my late-thirties, a sweet older lady took me aside and reminded me that it’s important to take care of myself and follow my own gifts, too. I believe most of us are giving people, and it comes natural to say yes.
It’s so freeing to pick and choose our own avenues of service. Thank you so much for this well-thought-out article. It’s a great reminder.
Seedplanter’s last blog post..Great Gardening Tips on Twitter
I have been saying “No” a lot recently – but I could not resist saying “Yes” to your new Group on RocketMoms Paula!!
Timely advice for me, for sure. I find it difficult to say ‘no’ if I actually could help out. The result is often that nothing gets finished and nobody is happy. I certainly love to give but must come to terms with the reality that I only have so much to give. I guess part of the desire to give stems from my reluctance to take, as well.