by seedplanter
Backstories: How to Become a Billionaire in Three Minutes
April 30, 2009 in Seedplanter's Backstories by seedplanter
[ratings]
I’ve been waiting to share some earthshaking news. I hope you can contain your excitement. Five days ago, I received a remarkable email from Dr.Claudio Thomas. It began:
Greeting !!!
This is to bring to your notice that a bank draft of £750,000.00 Great British
Pound(GBP),have been issued in your favour by World Bank from a random
computer e-mail search.I Dr.Claudio Thomas worker in the World Bank have
deposited the draft with (UPS EXPRESS, LONDON), after many e-mails to you
which you have not replied. I have travelled out of LONDON now,I do hope that
you will receive this mail and act fast.
Imagine how excited ol’ Claudio must have been as he sat down that morning with his cuppa tea and keyboard to deliver that message. I’ll spare you the rest of the email, because I suspect you may have received the same lovely message. Claudio is a busy boy.
How to Become a Billionaire in Three Minutes was hatched from a collection of oddball emails I’ve recieved over the past three years. I should be a billionaire by now, but I’m not. I should at least be the beneficiary of a Nigerian prince’s uncle’s mother-in-law’s dead cousin’s fortune, but I’m not. My parents didn’t raise no fool, but apparently there are plenty of people out there so hungry to get rich quick, they’re replying to these kooks.
Back when dinosaurs roamed my neighborhood, spammers werent’t so frugal; they actually bought postage stamps and sent fake award notifications by snail mail. Now they streamline the process by buying up lists of email addresses (don’t get me started on that topic) and off they go, spreading fairy dust throughout the world. Isn’t that special?
Might as well laffaboutit. Visit the lens and laugh along with me. Speak your mind while you’re there, too, in the Duel, a poll, and of course, the guestbook (with plenty of room for ranting).
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Need more comic relief?
Squidoo’s Unofficial Procrastination Primer – Cooking Disasters I Lived to Tell About – Help! I’ve Lost my Hippocampus! Embarrassing Moments We’d Rather Forget – Blame it on Squidoo – Turkey’s Last Stand
With thanks to 
Overheard on twitter...
I love it when they get miffed about all the other fraudulent enterprises and assure you that you’re in good hands with THEM. Great comedy! (Please leave your address, phone number, email and social security number in the comment box below!)